I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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