what day is it and did you see me today?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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