She is in my trunk
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize