Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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