Even the bartender felt bad for me
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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