If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He did a backflip because drugs
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
