You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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