Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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