Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
