my vag is so smooth its legendary
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
