Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
