Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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