this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
