me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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