This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
