I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
