Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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