It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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