Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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