The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize