Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
