I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
