Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
