You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
