the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
