why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just google imaged poop.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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