So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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