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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I want my thong back.

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I hate you tequila.

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• (805): View more from California

  do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks

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• (435): View more from Utah

  Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.

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• (518): View more from New York

  I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face

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