there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so explain again why im purple
no
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize