STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
