windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
