You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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