Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My breath smells like gin and sadness
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
