seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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