guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
