I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize