there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
where are my eyebrows?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
