he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
