wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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