god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Randomize
