I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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