I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
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