I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize