just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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