so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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