Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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