let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
