just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
