I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize