Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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