I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
