it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
