Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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