we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
