Having a random hookup so left but love u
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
