you would pick up someone in the library
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
