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dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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