I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
