If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
