I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
