Don't you send me to vm
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We had to coat check the pizza.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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