You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
As shirtless as possible
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
