Do you still have your period?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
