Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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