I will die if light touches me.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
