He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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